she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
