Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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