I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
