Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
