No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
