im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize