6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize