question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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