You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
3 2 1 whiskey
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
