Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
