Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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