awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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