The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
