Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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