After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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