I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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