i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
