i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
