Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
