Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
