They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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