Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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