I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
