i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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