if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize