Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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