YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
