Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
