curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
