at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
