she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
