Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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