Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
