That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize