That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
