All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
