is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
