I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize