Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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