I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
