I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The air was thick with penises
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
