we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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