I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
