Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
