So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
