he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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