I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
When are your genitals available?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
