Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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