if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize