During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just sent this text using only my big toe
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
try to milk me bitch
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