Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
