Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
