windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize