Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
