i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
