I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
