Me too!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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