I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize