I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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