Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
