come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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