Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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