I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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